Saturday, October 15, 2011

Battle of the Snow Whites: Julia Roberts VS Charlize Theron

Julia Roberts vs. Charlize Theron: Showdown With The Casts Of The Snow White Projects

Author: Eric Eisenberg

One of the biggest battles of 2012 will be between Universal Studios and Relativity Media... both film companies have their own takes on the Snow White fairy tale coming out during the 12 month stretch. We’ve already seen the studios butt heads over release dates – Relativity pushing Tarsem Singh’s Untitled Snow White project up to March 16th while Universal has Rupert Sanders’ Snow White and the Huntsman dated for June 1st – but what if the characters themselves went head to head?

Early this morning the first images from Singh’s version of the Grimm fairy tale came online and when looking at the Snow White and the Huntsman images from Comic Con, I got to thinking: how would Kristen Stewart’s princess do against Lily Collins’? Could Armie Hammer kick Chris Hemsworth’s ass? What would be the result of a battle between Charlize Theron and Julia Roberts? Below you will find my complete breakdown.

Battle of the Snow Whites: Kristen Stewart vs. Lily CollinsLooking at these two images, I know exactly what you’re thinking: “Eric, one of these young ladies is wielding a sword and shield while the other is sitting pretty in a fluffy blue dress. This is a no brainer.” To that I say not so fast. Stewart may have the equipment (the sword is actually below the picture), but Collins has the numbers. Stewart looks all sad and alone in that photo because she has no friends, meanwhile the bright and shiny, happy-looking princess is surrounded by seven dwarfs that are clearly a little off kilter. Hell, Mickey from Seinfeld has a battle helmet on and one of the dudes in the back clearly murdered and decided to wear a ferocious beast. Plus, that big fluffy dress would be pretty damn hard to stab.



Battle of the Dashing Hero: Chris Hemsworth vs. Armie Hammer
Now things are getting a little interesting. These are both strapping young men wielding hardcore weapons that could easily kill a man. But let’s do a little bit of body language analysis, shall we? First let’s take a gander at Hemsworth. His hair is straggly and looks like it hasn’t been washed in weeks, he has a beard (which is a +1 in any fight), his eyes suggest that he’s not too happy with the way you’re looking at him, and the axe is slung over his shoulder like it’s no big deal. Now let’s move over to Hammer. Yes, his sword is thrust forward, but he seems to be leaning back a bit taking a defensive stance. His coat is nice and shiny and I polar bears would be envious of how white that shirt is. If these characters were to actually fight, Hemsworth would probably be okay with getting stabbed a few times provided it got him close enough to chop off Hammer’s head. But let’s be real, this was over the second I noticed the beard.



Battle of the Evil Queen: Charlize Theron vs. Julia RobertsThis is a much different kind of battle than the last two. Neither of these characters are inclined to do any physical labor themselves, so they definitely aren’t going to be picking up arms against each other. No, this is a battle of malevolence; a war that is won by the queen that simply wants it more. Ignoring the dagger in Theron’s hands (that’s clearly for show, come on), the high-collar and black dress looks so damn evil that Osama bin Laden would have thought it was a bit too much. Then there’s Roberts relaxing deep in her chair and wearing a dress so big that even if she were to try and stand she probably wouldn’t be able to find the floor. She looks so damn relaxed that you could Photoshop a remote control into her right hand and nobody would blink an eye. The choice is simple: one of these ladies simply wanted it more.



BONUS ROUND - Battle of the Other Guys: Sam Claflin vs. Nathan Lane

Seriously? Come on. It’s in the eyes.


FINAL ANALYSIS: By a final score of 3-1, the winner of this contest is Snow White and the Huntsman, but the war is from over. To learn more about both films be sure to check out each one’s individual pages in our Blend Film Database HERE and HERE. With that I’ll throw it to you:

Which do you think will be the better Snow White movie?

Snow White and the Huntsman - 71%
Tarsem Singh's Snow White Project - 29%


This is funny, because I was just thinking how much better the Tarsem Singh project (Untitled Snow White) was going to be than the Rupert Sanders one (Snow White and the Huntsman).

Sure the Sanders one has more names... Charlize Theron (Hancock, Italian Job, Monster), Kristen Stewart (Twilight), Chris Hemsworth (Thor, Star Trek, and the upcoming Avengers and Red Dawn)... all of which have headlined hit films (that's three A-List actors in the top roles). Plus add to it the dwarfs are CGI'd pro full-size actors with names like Ian McShane (Blackbeard in Pirates 4), Nick Frost (Shaun of the Dead, Hot Fuzz), Ray Winstone (Beowulf), and Bob Hoskins (Who Framed Roger Rabbit).

Why didn't they team up Bob Hoskins to battle Nathan Lane instead? That would have seemed more fair. =^)

Anyway, compare those names to a great cast where your only A-List star name is Julia Roberts (Valentine's Day, Ocean's Eleven, Erin Brokovich, Runaway Bride, Notting Hill, My Best Friend's Wedding, Hook, Pretty Woman). And then the other names are Nathan Lane (Timon in Lion King), Sean Bean (006 in Goldeneye, Lord of the Rings, National Treasure, Troy, Percy Jackson), Lily Collins as Snow White (Blind Side, Abduction).

There's no comparison in star power between the films, and yes, the grittier photos from the Sanders' Huntsman would make all their characters win in a fight. However, there are a few elements to consider that actors aren't going to give you.

First is the director. Tarsem's big film debut was one of the most beautiful and visually compelling films of all time... 2000's The Cell... which was also a big flop, a huge stumbling block for Jennifer Lopez's career, and it certainly didn't help Vince Vaughn get to his hit comedies any faster. Simply put, the story and concept weren't appealing to the mass audience.

However, Tarsem's not a writer, and he's been hard at work banking on good writers. His next/third film will prove that... The Immortals (coming November 2011), which is probably the freshest big budget film to star no A-List actors in a long time (just Mickey Rourke, John Hurt, and Stephen Dorff in supporting roles).

And that film will show that Tarsem's been looking for good writing. That's where his Untitled Snow White has the edge.

Plus this is Rupert's first film. Not his first film he's directed. His first film period. He hasn't made a name for himself directing music videos, commercials, or anything else. Nothing. He's a noob... albeit a noob with a gritty film and an impressive quiver full of star power.

Now listen to the stories. Here's Rupert's Hunstman:

"In a twist to the fairy tale, the Huntsman ordered to take Snow White into the woods to be killed winds up becoming her protector and mentor in a quest to vanquish the Evil Queen."

Sounds cool. Right? They seemed to have turned it into a Medieval film (feels like a Braveheart-style revenge quest). They named the dwarves after Roman caesars (Ian McShane is the leader/Doc... Caesar).

It's obviously a love triangle where Snow White (Kristen Stewart) ends up picking the Huntsman (Chris Hemsworth) over Prince Charmant (Sam Claflin). Especially since the love triangle thing worked so well for her in Twilight. This time she's going to go for the underdog (instead of the bigger/popular hero like she did in Twilight; sorry Jacob). You can always tell because they tend to cast the A-List actor in the role where the guy gets the girl (why pay money to disappoint fans?).

So you've got this love triangle, gritty medieval time where, surprise, Snow White gets the Huntsman instead. However, Charlize Theron does have us excited.

Now compare that to this...

"A dark twist on the classic fairy tale, in which Snow White and the seven dwarfs look to reclaim their destroyed kingdom."

And I can't help but be more excited by the film that seems closer to Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland than the one that seems closer to Gladiator.

Snow is a "delicate
 princess trying to overthrow her wicked stepmother with the aid of seven dwarfs, who bedevil the kingdom as woodland bandits." They take her in an train her in different skills to fight. Tarsem says of Collins, who may look delicate, "Surprisingly, from the first day she came in, she's very physical."

Lily reminds me of Aubrey Hepburn.

In this version of Snow White, which will stay truer to the original Brothers Grimm fairy tale, Julia Roberts plays the Evil Queen, Sean Bean her husband, the King, and Armie Hammer as the prince. Collins goes on to explain: "She's a naive innocent young girl who turns into a woman and really finds herself".

In comparison to the dainty Snow White we all know, this won't be the same. "She's very much that fairy tale princess we’ve all read about in books. She's been modernized in a way that she becomes a fighter in the end." Relativity will be bringing Tarsem's Snow White to theaters March 16th, 2012.

And look at the majesty of this...

"I wanted a person who is just schizophrenic. She's a person who would just do all the evil she needs to do to stay in power," Tarsem says. Time to be introduced to the new Evil Queen, the talented Julia Roberts in Tarsem Singh & Relativity's Snow White movie, based on The Brothers Grimm tale, yet is still untitled. Entrainment Weekly has unveiled a big first look, with photos of Roberts in her elaborate, sparkly dresses, designed by Eiko Ishioka (Bram Stoker's Dracula), as well as a few of pics of Lily Collins as Snow White, and her seven dwarfs. Plus a shot of Armie Hammer. Suffice it to say, I have no excitement for this at all.

"She's the cat that ate the canary," Tarsem tells EW of the Evil Queen in his story. "I decided for the evil queen, this is going to be a person who sees her [good] self — but there's a mirror personality." I've added a few of the better photos below, but you can see the entire gallery here or read the full EW piece on Tarsem's Snow White, which needs a damn title already considering it's supposed to be out in March. So take a look!

The interviews are from:


And most people don't know this, but both pictures typically win when they release similar films in the same year (that's why they do it). Or at least one film does better than it otherwise would. Examples... Braveheart and Rob Roy, Armageddon and The Core, Twister and Dante's Peak, and the success of Alvin and the Chipmunks and Scooby Doo gave us Garfield, Yogi Bear, and Smurfs.

But the question is... with all of these fantastic live-action remakes to Snow White (including Julia Roberts), where's Disney?

The same place they were with Hook (also starring Julia Roberts)... behind the game.

So Julia Roberts seems to be doing live-action remakes to Disney films that aren't being produced by Disney (Hook and now Snow White)! Disney better get on the ball!

Disney won with Glen Close's Cruella in 101 Dalmatians and Johnny Depp's Mad Hatter in Alice in Wonderland (which made over a billion dollars), but they dropped the ball with Hook and now Snow White. Get on the ball, Disney!

What other Disney animated films will be made into live-action, big-budget films?
- Pinnochio
- Aladdin
- Beauty and the Beast
- The Little Mermaid
- Winnie the Pooh
- Peter Pan (again; two attempts were made so far)
- Cinderella (Drew Barrymore's wasn't "big")
- Sleeping Beauty
- Rapunzel/Tangled
- Dumbo
- The Rescuers
- Princess and the Frog
- Pocahontas
- Atlantis
- Mulan
- Lilo & Stitch
- Jungle Book (again, but "bigger")
- Fantasia (with Mickey instead of Jay Baruchel)
- Brother Bear
- Jack and the Beanstalk (non-Disney in the works)
- Bambi
- Black Cauldron
- Lady & the Tramp
- Hercules
- Aristocats
- Sword in the Stone
- Fox and the Hound
- Treasure Planet
- Great Mouse Detective
- Lion King
- Robin Hood (with animals)
- Oliver and Company
- Emperor's New Groove
- Hunchback of Notre Dame



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